A word that is often overused and misunderstood is the word, “love.”  In the same breath I can say, “I love my wife” as well as, “I love Mt. Dew!”  Do I mean the same thing?  I certainly hope not!  If I do, I’m going to get into some trouble!  Let’s ask ourselves the question, “How am I supposed to love others? Particularly other Christians.”

There are 4 Greek words that can be translated as, “love.”  They are stergo, eros, phileo, and agape.

Stergo is the natural affection that family members have one for another.  I have a terrific older brother and two wonderful older sisters.  I can honestly say that I love them.  This word is used in the Bible in the negative sense when Paul warns Timothy that in the last days men will be without natural affection. (2 Timothy 3:3) And truly we can see that in our society today when mothers can murder their babies without seemingly thinking about it. Although, this is an important type of love, this is not the love that we should have for others.

Eros is a word that is not used in the Bible however the concept is taught in the Bible by such individuals as King Solomon.  Our word, “erotic,” is derived from this word. This is a self-serving love.  This is a “How can you gratify me?” type of love.  This is most often the type of love that today’s entertainment portrays on TV, in films, in advertisements, etc. This type of love says, “As long as you satisfy my desires, and bring me pleasure, than I will continue to love you but as soon as you stop satisfying me or bringing me pleasure, than I will no longer love you.”  This definitely is not the type of love that we should have for others.

Phileo is the third word that is used in the Bible and is translated as love.

Hebrews 13:1 “Let brotherly love continue.”

This is where we get the name of the city in Pennsylvania – Philadelphia, the city of brotherly shove – excuse me – I mean brotherly love. This word is many times translated as “friend.” (John 15:13-14) This is a 50/50 type of love.  As long as each person in this relationship is giving, everything is fine.  But as soon as one individual fails to give or if there is too much conflict, then this type of relationship begins to crumble.  Now, although this is an important type of relationship, it is not the type of love that we ultimately are to have toward others.

The last word used for love is Agape.  This is completely sacrificial type of love.  This is a 100% type of love.  This type of love gives without expecting anything in return.  This is the love that God has towards us and which was demonstrated by Christ’s death upon the cross.

Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

This type of love is used in 1 John 4:7…

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.”

This is the type of love that we are commanded to have for others and to demonstrate towards others.  It is not natural to demonstrate this type of love towards others.  It is not in our DNA to love others in this way.  So how are we able to love others in this way?  Is it even possible to love others in this way?

The only way that we can love others in the way in which God commands us to is to first of all die to self!  This must be a daily process of complete surrender to God.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

As we yield ourselves to Christ’s control, we can give ourselves 100% to others without expecting anything in return.  May God help us to love others as we should and in so doing make a difference in the lives of others.