I always appreciate the thoughts and insights into parenting that Cary Schmidt, associate pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church, Lancaster, CA, has.  In a recent issue of  The Baptist Voice  he wrote and article entitled, “Winning the Heart.”

I would like to encourage every parent to take the time to read that article.

Recently, I had the opportunity to drive the bus so our elementary students could enjoy a field trip!  However, this trip was a little different.  Several minutes into the trip, all of the students began singing.  The songs that the children began to sing were songs about salvation, Christian character, being a missionary, being obedient.  It brought a tear to my eye as I listened to them sing (and sometimes joined along with them)!  Most of the songs that they sang were ones that they had learned either in the classroom or in chapel.  As I listened to them sing, my mind began to think.  (Most of the time that can be a dangerous proposition!)

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Colossians 3:16

1.  Music is powerful.  There is no way around this point.  The secular world understands this point.  The advertising executive understands this.  So often, though, we as Christians do not understand this.  Because of this power, it is important that you listen to the right kind of music that contains the right message. When you combine the right kind of music with the right message it will have a tremendous impact upon the lives of children, teenagers, and adults.  Long after the chapel messages and the Bible lessons have been forgotten, the messages contained in those songs will still be fresh in their minds.  In fact, I have no doubt that many of these young people will remember these songs long into their adult years.

2.  Music is important.  Because of the power that music holds, we must also understand that it is important.  Realizing the importance that music plays, my wife and I, from the time our children were babies, have encouraged our children to listen to good, Godly music and have provided them with good, Godly music.  Each night our children listen to music as they fall asleep.  Our family listens to music as we travel.  Over the years our family has amassed a large collection of good, Godly music from such sources as Majesty Music and Bible Truth Music.

3.  Music must be surrendered.  As with anything in our lives, we must surrender our music to the Lord.  It’s not simply a matter of “taste.”  We cannot use the argument, “Well, I just don’t like that kind of music.” or “That’s the kind of music that I grew up listening to.”  By surrendering our music to the Lord, we will more likely choose music that is going to be Christ-honoring.

“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;” Ephesians 5:19-20

Since the last article have you found it difficult to get along with someone?  Did the Lord bring to your mind some of the Biblical principles that we previously shared? If you forgot some of them don’t worry, that’s the wonderful thing about the internet. Once it’s out there in “the cloud” you’ll always be able to find it! Let’s review.

1. Remember that you control and are responsible for one and only one individual – yourself! (Romans 14:12)
2. No one can make you angry, frustrated, etc.  You chose to respond in anger, frustration, etc. (Matthew 12:34)
3. Love God’s Word more than anything or anyone else. (Psalm 119:165)
4. Be quick to forgive others. (Ephesians 4:32)

Now let’s continue with the last 3 Biblical principles.

5. Treat others the way that you desire to be treated.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12

This is a favorite around our house. (Or at least it is to me.) We all remember the Golden Rule, don’t we?  Do unto others as they have done unto us! Oops, I think I got it wrong.  Hopefully you caught my “mistake.”  However, isn’t that how we most often treat others – the way that they have treated us?  Someone is unkind to us, so we’re unkind to them.  Someone gossips about us, so we gossip about them.  Is that the way it should be?  No. Instead, we should treat others the way that we desire to be treated.

6. Be quick to listen instead of angry.

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” James 1:19

I will often tell my children, “It takes two to tango.”  No, I’m not advocating dancing.  What I’m trying to teach them is that it takes two people to fight, argue, or quarrel.  If one person purposefully decides not to argue then the other individual is left simply talking to themselves – and they normally look pretty foolish doing it!  Generally, when two people get into an argument, they both begin to talk – rather loudly – and neither stops long enough to listen.  If they took the time to listen, they might find out that there’s really nothing to argue about. I must caution you about something, though.  While the other person is talking, you must actually listen!  Deciding what you are going to say next doesn’t count as listening!

7. Remember that dead dogs doesn’t bite!

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

What would happen if you kicked a live pit bull?  It wouldn’t be a pretty site! Now, what would happen if you kicked a dead pit bull?  Absolutely nothing.  Dead dogs don’t bite!  That’s an important lesson for each of us to learn in relation to getting along with others.  The Apostle Paul said, “I die daily.” (1 Corinthians 15:31)  We must learn the spiritual discipline of daily dying to self so that Christ can live through us.  Our flesh loves to fight and argue but just keep reminding yourself, “Dead dogs don’t bite!”

If we keep in mind Romans 12:18, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” And also keep in mind that Christ lives in us, then we can honestly say that it is possible to live peaceably with all men.

I’m sure all of us have someone in our lives that we have at times said, “I can’t get along with them.”  Maybe you find it difficult to get along with a brother or sister, or maybe a child finds it difficult to get along with a parent, or maybe you find it difficult (or nearly impossible) to get along with someone in your class. However, Romans 12:18 tells us, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”  It is possible to get along with anyone if we will remember and incorporate the following Biblical principles in our lives.  Parents, do you find that your children or teenagers have a difficult time getting along with each other? These are wonderful Biblical principles to teach your children.  I am going to split this article into two parts.

1. Remember that you control and are responsible for one and only one individual – yourself!

“So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” Romans 14:12

In the context of what we are talking about, God is not going to hold you accountable for your brother or sister’s actions to you.  One day, as you stand before God, you will be responsible for only yourself!  How are treating others?  Are you responding with kindness?  Are you treating others with the love of Christ?

2. No one can make you angry, frustrated, etc.  You chose to respond in anger, frustration, etc.

“O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” Matthew 12:34

We often like to say that so and so knows “which buttons to push” to get us angry or frustrated.  Unfortunately, when we respond – however we choose to respond – it is because we made the choice to get angry or we made the choice to respond with Christ-like love.  This morning, did you choose to respond in the right way or in the wrong way?

3. Love God’s Word more than anything or anyone else.

“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalm 119:165

One of the verses that I love the best is Psalm 119:165.  If we love God’s Word more than getting even, or more than getting our way, than it is going to produce a peace in our lives that the world will not be able to understand.  However, in order to develop that love for God’s Word, you must spend time in God’s Word on a daily basis not just occasionally.  Did you spend time “loving” God’s Word this morning?

4. Be quick to forgive others.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

Most of us are familiar with Ephesians 4:32 but we generally stop at “Be ye kind…”  But the verses says so much more.  It teaches us how to be kind.  “Forgiving one another.”  When someone is unkind to you, or mistreats you, or is just down-right ugly to you, we should be quick to be kind to them by forgiving them.  Did you know that you can forgive someone even though they don’t ask for forgiveness?  Forgiveness is more about you than it is the other person.  When you forgive, you are really letting go of that wrong or hurt that someone else inflicted upon you.  Forgiveness is a conscious decision to not allow that hurt to control you and make you bitter.  When I see weeds in our flower garden, I want to pull them out.  I don’t want to leave them there.  Forgiveness is like pulling the weeds out of your heart.  Is there someone that you need to forgive today?

It is possible to get along with anyone!  Let me encourage you to teach these principles to your entire family and see how God will bless.

Parents,

Please take the time to read the following blog entry from Pastor Cary Schmidt, student ministries pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church in Lancaster, CA.  This is how it begins…

“I recieved this letter from a young lady last week—a Bible college student who grew up in a Christian home and Christian school. I believe it’s the saddest letter I’ve ever read and right on the mark for so detailing the experiences of so many young Christians. I asked her permission to post it. Please read. Her words will greatly challenge you as a parent or pastor:”

The following is taken from the preface to Noah Webster’s famous 1828 Dictionary:

“In my view, the Christian religion is the most important and one of the first things in which all children, under a free government ought to be instructed…No truth is more evident to my mind than that the Christian religion must be the basis of any government intended to secure the rights and privileges of a free people.”

(by Pastor Tim Cruse, Shining Light Baptist Church, Monroe, NC)

God wants His people to guard (Proverbs 4:23), guide (Proverbs 23:19), and give (Proverbs 23:26) their hearts.  When children give their hearts to their parents, they trust them to protect, provide, and prepare them to follow God’s will for their lives.

Understand this about your child’s heart:

• By nature your child’s heart is sinful and therefore imperfect.
• Your child needs you to hold them accountable and teach them good character by helping them to think Biblically.
• Your child’s view of God and how to trust Him is being shaped by your influence and example.  You must teach them how to properly respond to His authority.
• Your child feels most secure when there is harmony and structure in the home, and when they are allowed to become who God wants them to be.
• Your child lacks discernment and needs you to keep them from the appearance of evil so they will not be weakened to the evil itself.

Take the time necessary to understand your child’s heart.  They are counting on you!