God has designed the family to be a place where the individuals in that family nurture one another.

Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Just because a teen can generally care for themselves physically, doesn’t mean that they need their parents any less.  In fact, during the teen years, parents are needed much more than at any other time.  A teens needs are less physical and more spiritual!

The attached message is entitled, “Family Time.”

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What is “fragmentation?”

Fragmentation is the accelerating tendancy of families in the 21st century to spend increasingly less time together and more time involved in other pursuits and interests.

During the teen years, the pace of life picks up speed, much like the white water rapids that we sometimes venture down.  Unfortunately, if families are not careful, the swift current can pull them apart.  And that is exactly what Satan would love to see happen.  Both parents and teens must make a conscience decision and effort to “stick together” during the hectic teen years.

This message is the next in our Wednesday night series, “Hook, Line, & Sinker:  How the enemy is dividing and destroying our families.”  Take some time to listen.

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“Be sober [be serious], be vigilant [be watchful]; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” 1 Peter 5:8

This message is the second in the teen’s Wednesday night series, “Hook, Line, & Sinker.”

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Parents,  This message is the first in this year’s series, “Hook, Line, & Sinker.”  Satan desires to destroy you and your family.  Each Wednesday night, we will be tackling this topic in our 7 Star Teen meetings.  Let me encourage you to talk with your teenagers about this very important topic.

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When a person receives Jesus Christ as their Savior, they must understand the difference between eternal security and assurance of salvation. The Lord wants them to know that they are saved and thus enjoy their Christian life to its fullest.

Eternal Security is the fact that once you are saved, you are eternally secure.  Jesus said, in John 10:28, “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.”  Eternal security is completely dependent upon God!  Ephesians 2:8-9 teach us that since there was nothing you can do to save yourself, then there’s nothing you can do to lose it!  Notice what God says about eternal security:

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (The word, “eternal,” demands that it can never end once you get it.)

Assurance of salvation is the fact of knowing, that you know, that you know that you are saved.  1 John 5:13, “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life,…”  Your assurance of salvation is completely dependent upon you believing what God has said about eternal security.  However, there are some things that can cause a person to forget that they have been saved.

2 Peter 1:9, “But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”

• They may not be saved and the Holy Spirit is convicting them of their unregenerate state.
• A childhood decision may seem long ago and the experience vague.
• Sin may be present in the life.
• Satan confuses us regarding salvation and living for Christ.

I always appreciate the thoughts and insights into parenting that Cary Schmidt, associate pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church, Lancaster, CA, has.  In a recent issue of  The Baptist Voice  he wrote and article entitled, “Winning the Heart.”

I would like to encourage every parent to take the time to read that article.

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. ” Matthew 18:15

I have seen, as well as used myself, a tube of toothpaste to illustrate the fact that once words are spoken, it is impossible to take them back.  However, I have never known of anyone to talk about how to clean the toothpaste up.  The Ten Commandments to Corrective Communication will deal with how to clean the toothpaste up.  First, I will share all ten of the commandments and then will go back to discuss each one in a little more detail.

1. Thou shalt go to thy brother first before going to anyone else.  (Matt. 18:15)
2. Thou shalt have examined thyself before approaching thy brother.  (Matt. 7:1-5)
3. Thou shalt listen before speaking.  (James 1:19-20)
4. Thou shalt have searched out the facts before going to thy brother  (Prov. 18:13)
5. Be honest & Be humble (Eph. 4:25)
6. Keep current (Eph. 4:16)
7. Thou shalt not make 100% statements.
8. Thou shalt ask the Lord for the right time and the right words with the right heart.  (Prov. 15:23; Eph. 4:15)
9. Thou shalt not attack the person but attack the problem.  (Eph. 4:29-30)
10. Thou shalt act not react.  (Eph. 4:31-32)

A word that is often overused and misunderstood is the word, “love.”  In the same breath I can say, “I love my wife” as well as, “I love Mt. Dew!”  Do I mean the same thing?  I certainly hope not!  If I do, I’m going to get into some trouble!  Let’s ask ourselves the question, “How am I supposed to love others? Particularly other Christians.”

There are 4 Greek words that can be translated as, “love.”  They are stergo, eros, phileo, and agape.

Stergo is the natural affection that family members have one for another.  I have a terrific older brother and two wonderful older sisters.  I can honestly say that I love them.  This word is used in the Bible in the negative sense when Paul warns Timothy that in the last days men will be without natural affection. (2 Timothy 3:3) And truly we can see that in our society today when mothers can murder their babies without seemingly thinking about it. Although, this is an important type of love, this is not the love that we should have for others.

Eros is a word that is not used in the Bible however the concept is taught in the Bible by such individuals as King Solomon.  Our word, “erotic,” is derived from this word. This is a self-serving love.  This is a “How can you gratify me?” type of love.  This is most often the type of love that today’s entertainment portrays on TV, in films, in advertisements, etc. This type of love says, “As long as you satisfy my desires, and bring me pleasure, than I will continue to love you but as soon as you stop satisfying me or bringing me pleasure, than I will no longer love you.”  This definitely is not the type of love that we should have for others.

Phileo is the third word that is used in the Bible and is translated as love.

Hebrews 13:1 “Let brotherly love continue.”

This is where we get the name of the city in Pennsylvania – Philadelphia, the city of brotherly shove – excuse me – I mean brotherly love. This word is many times translated as “friend.” (John 15:13-14) This is a 50/50 type of love.  As long as each person in this relationship is giving, everything is fine.  But as soon as one individual fails to give or if there is too much conflict, then this type of relationship begins to crumble.  Now, although this is an important type of relationship, it is not the type of love that we ultimately are to have toward others.

The last word used for love is Agape.  This is completely sacrificial type of love.  This is a 100% type of love.  This type of love gives without expecting anything in return.  This is the love that God has towards us and which was demonstrated by Christ’s death upon the cross.

Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

This type of love is used in 1 John 4:7…

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.”

This is the type of love that we are commanded to have for others and to demonstrate towards others.  It is not natural to demonstrate this type of love towards others.  It is not in our DNA to love others in this way.  So how are we able to love others in this way?  Is it even possible to love others in this way?

The only way that we can love others in the way in which God commands us to is to first of all die to self!  This must be a daily process of complete surrender to God.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

As we yield ourselves to Christ’s control, we can give ourselves 100% to others without expecting anything in return.  May God help us to love others as we should and in so doing make a difference in the lives of others.

Recently, I had the opportunity to drive the bus so our elementary students could enjoy a field trip!  However, this trip was a little different.  Several minutes into the trip, all of the students began singing.  The songs that the children began to sing were songs about salvation, Christian character, being a missionary, being obedient.  It brought a tear to my eye as I listened to them sing (and sometimes joined along with them)!  Most of the songs that they sang were ones that they had learned either in the classroom or in chapel.  As I listened to them sing, my mind began to think.  (Most of the time that can be a dangerous proposition!)

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Colossians 3:16

1.  Music is powerful.  There is no way around this point.  The secular world understands this point.  The advertising executive understands this.  So often, though, we as Christians do not understand this.  Because of this power, it is important that you listen to the right kind of music that contains the right message. When you combine the right kind of music with the right message it will have a tremendous impact upon the lives of children, teenagers, and adults.  Long after the chapel messages and the Bible lessons have been forgotten, the messages contained in those songs will still be fresh in their minds.  In fact, I have no doubt that many of these young people will remember these songs long into their adult years.

2.  Music is important.  Because of the power that music holds, we must also understand that it is important.  Realizing the importance that music plays, my wife and I, from the time our children were babies, have encouraged our children to listen to good, Godly music and have provided them with good, Godly music.  Each night our children listen to music as they fall asleep.  Our family listens to music as we travel.  Over the years our family has amassed a large collection of good, Godly music from such sources as Majesty Music and Bible Truth Music.

3.  Music must be surrendered.  As with anything in our lives, we must surrender our music to the Lord.  It’s not simply a matter of “taste.”  We cannot use the argument, “Well, I just don’t like that kind of music.” or “That’s the kind of music that I grew up listening to.”  By surrendering our music to the Lord, we will more likely choose music that is going to be Christ-honoring.

“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;” Ephesians 5:19-20

Since the last article have you found it difficult to get along with someone?  Did the Lord bring to your mind some of the Biblical principles that we previously shared? If you forgot some of them don’t worry, that’s the wonderful thing about the internet. Once it’s out there in “the cloud” you’ll always be able to find it! Let’s review.

1. Remember that you control and are responsible for one and only one individual – yourself! (Romans 14:12)
2. No one can make you angry, frustrated, etc.  You chose to respond in anger, frustration, etc. (Matthew 12:34)
3. Love God’s Word more than anything or anyone else. (Psalm 119:165)
4. Be quick to forgive others. (Ephesians 4:32)

Now let’s continue with the last 3 Biblical principles.

5. Treat others the way that you desire to be treated.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12

This is a favorite around our house. (Or at least it is to me.) We all remember the Golden Rule, don’t we?  Do unto others as they have done unto us! Oops, I think I got it wrong.  Hopefully you caught my “mistake.”  However, isn’t that how we most often treat others – the way that they have treated us?  Someone is unkind to us, so we’re unkind to them.  Someone gossips about us, so we gossip about them.  Is that the way it should be?  No. Instead, we should treat others the way that we desire to be treated.

6. Be quick to listen instead of angry.

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” James 1:19

I will often tell my children, “It takes two to tango.”  No, I’m not advocating dancing.  What I’m trying to teach them is that it takes two people to fight, argue, or quarrel.  If one person purposefully decides not to argue then the other individual is left simply talking to themselves – and they normally look pretty foolish doing it!  Generally, when two people get into an argument, they both begin to talk – rather loudly – and neither stops long enough to listen.  If they took the time to listen, they might find out that there’s really nothing to argue about. I must caution you about something, though.  While the other person is talking, you must actually listen!  Deciding what you are going to say next doesn’t count as listening!

7. Remember that dead dogs doesn’t bite!

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

What would happen if you kicked a live pit bull?  It wouldn’t be a pretty site! Now, what would happen if you kicked a dead pit bull?  Absolutely nothing.  Dead dogs don’t bite!  That’s an important lesson for each of us to learn in relation to getting along with others.  The Apostle Paul said, “I die daily.” (1 Corinthians 15:31)  We must learn the spiritual discipline of daily dying to self so that Christ can live through us.  Our flesh loves to fight and argue but just keep reminding yourself, “Dead dogs don’t bite!”

If we keep in mind Romans 12:18, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” And also keep in mind that Christ lives in us, then we can honestly say that it is possible to live peaceably with all men.